


sex, vines, and tantrums

by jhopefulyoongi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Casual Sex, Depression, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Pining, Polyamory, Possessive Behavior, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:13:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15419715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopefulyoongi/pseuds/jhopefulyoongi
Summary: The chat fic never yall wanted from me but that you're gonna get anywayWonwoo and Junhui are a thing but not an official thing, Soonyoung maybe wants a thing with one or both of them. Chan is dating Seokmin, Jihoon is also dating Seokmin, and maybe they also want to be dating each other. Mingyu and Minghao are together but still dealing with bad feelings that have existed since before their relationship even began. Hansol and Seungkwan have the perfect relationship, but do they really? And Jisoo and Jeonghan and Seungcheol were all in love and then one day one of them just wasn't.





	sex, vines, and tantrums

**Author's Note:**

> cheol-cuppycake  
> jeonghan-is that a police  
> jisoo-im calling the weed  
> jun-kitten  
> soonyoung-gotta blast  
> wonwoo-skinny penis  
> jihoon-ass eater 52  
> seokmin-the nations sun source  
> mingyu-gyu thot  
> minghao-hmmm  
> seungkwan-big dick energy  
> hansol-wtf richard  
> chan-self promo is self care

jeonghans long hair is gone get over it (13)

  
is that a police: happy midnight everyone do either of cheolsoo know where the fuck my baking ingredients are im losing control of life and want to make myself five cakes

  
cuppycake: well sugar is in the seasoning cabinet

  
is that a police: thank you seungcheol you are the only useful one here

  
im calling the weed: i breathed

  
gotta blast: i wasnt even asKED THO

  
kitten: hannie hyung i think i saw the salt in the cabinet above the stove

is that a police: thank you jun. you are also useful

  
kitten: is hao hao back from vacation yet :(

  
is that a police: i dont see a lil bitch with a mullet in my apartment so no

  
kitten: :((((

  
kitten: i miss him

  
cuppycake: me too :( and i miss gyu

  
im calling the weed: its alright bb theyll be back in literal hours

  
cuppcake: i know..

  
cuppycake: i still miss them tho :(

  
kitten: well if theyre not back yet...

  
kitten: goodnight everyone imma take a nap (ΦзΦ)

  
skinny penis: goodnight junnie

  
gotta blast: where the fuck did he come from

  
kitten: wonwon i already said goodnight to you in our chat. but~~

  
kitten: goodnight wonwon!!

  
gotta blast: what about goodnight soonyoung

  
skinny penis: no

  
kitten: goodnight soonie!

  
gotta blast: ha

  
skinny penis: bitch

  
is that a police: .

  
is that a police: anyways

  
is that a police: seungcheol where the fuck is the flour

  
cuppycake: third cabinet from the stove on the right side

  
is that a police: i love you and only you 99.9% of the time

  
im calling the weed: and the vanilla extract is the first from the stove on the right

  
is that a police: and the person i love the other 00.1% of the time is joshua

  
gotta blast: what about chan

  
is that a police: who

  
gotta blast: you coddled him for like three straight years and called him your son everyday of your life and now you dont know him

  
is that a police: sounds right

  
im calling the weed: hes just petty bc chan snapped at his ass to never call him his baby again and he cried for like 3 hours straight

  
is that a police: fuck you

  
is that a police: no really tho channie doesnt want me to call him my baby anymore so i am respecting him as an adult and not doing it anymore

  
skinny penis: imma say it, i never saw that coming

  
is that a police: its what all good fathers must do

  
gotta blast: dont you mean mother

  
is that a police: i know what i said bitch

  
gotta blast: the disrespect i receive im just going off what you said for forever

  
skinny penis: im so happy i didnt go to sleep and was awake so that i could witness this

  
skinny penis: jihoon is gonna be so jealous

  
gotta blast: "jihoon is gonna be so jealous" act your age wonwoo

  
skinny penis: i might not be able to tie my shoes but i can fuck your bitch

  
is that a police: im a father now. a dad. a daddy. its my final form and you better accept it.

  
gotta blast: yes sir

  
is that a police: "sir".....big nut

  
im calling the weed: so youre....fucking soonyoungs bitch....uhh

  
cuppycake: not right now shua

  
cuppycake: and come to bed sir you have class in the morning

  
is that a police: what sir you talking to right now

  
im calling the weed: yeah alright

  
cuppycake: goodnight everyone else! make sure you get some rest for tomorrow

  
wtf richard: no

  
gotta blast: again. whERE DO THEY COME FROM

  
is that a weed: whICH SIR

  
...

  
hmmm: i come in here just one hour after coming back from vacation and the first thing i see is jihoon hyung now being called ass eater 52

  
big dick energy: aint my fault you had no service

  
wtf richard: did he say it was your fault tho

  
big dick energy: its like 3 am  i just feel attacked by everything

  
ass eater 52: i know what i am

  
cuppycake: LMFHSHFHHDDHHD

  
hmmm: is cheol hyung one of the 52

  
ass eater 52: fool

  
ass eater 52: my ass eating number extends beyond human comprehension of the mere number of 52

  
gyu thot: is that a yes

  
ass eater 52: no. fool.

  
gotta blast: hoonie whens the last time you slept

  
ass eater 52: sleeping? you think i sleep? you think i have time for sleeping? my mind controls all corners of the earth and continues on to the pure blackness of the darkest parts of our galaxy. you think i sleep?

  
gotta blast: i-

  
the nations sun source: time for you to come home, jiji! ill come and get you!

  
ass eater 52: yeah okay

  
gotta blast: ji

  
big dick energy: ji

  
ass eater 52: suck my dick soonyoung

  
gotta blast: that was aggressive but okay

  
wtf richard: how you want him to make seokmin be outta the job like that

  
the nations sun source: bITCH

  
kitten: haO HAO

  
kitten: I MISSED YOU

  
hmmm: yes yes i missed you too

  
kitten: why didnt you answer any of my messages :(

  
hmmm: sorry bb i was doing some stuff with gyu

  
kitten: gyu :(

  
gyu thot: you'll live bitch

  
kitten: no i wont

  
gyu thot: yes you will

  
kitten: wILL NOT

  
big dick energy: anways while those two out scream each other about who loves minghao more and who can do without him longer

  
big dick energy: chan do you still have my coupons for frozen hot chocolate

  
self promo is self care:.......no

  
big dick energy: yes you do and im coming to get them

  
self promo is self care: fuck

  
...  
ass eater 52: dont ever fucking say to me that water isnt wet i will burst into fucking tears and then spontaneously die via flames, killing myself and you instantly

  
self promo is self care: i tried it once

  
self promo is self care: he cried for two hours straight

  
skinny penis: mood

  
gotta blast: who says mood anymore

  
skinny penis: i do so eat my ass soonyoung

  
gotta blast: well then

  
is that a police: good morning to yall bitches too

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know if you want me to explain the usernames etc 
> 
> I know a lot of y'all don't like chat fic but I really wanted to write one and show everyone a different side of myself as well as trying another way of getting a story across 
> 
> So pls tell me if u like this I guess fjdkksks
> 
> twt: lemonjunnie


End file.
